This post is long overdue and honestly, I hate to write about this topic. The reason being that this topic is such that I have a lot of grievance about, yet not a lot of practical experience. I have been placing this topic off long enough. :(
Well, my scout mentor ROM recently. The ground work was laid by him sometime ago with constant hinting that the day will come soon. Yet when the day occurred, I am still a little shocked and amazed on the herculean guts that one needs to take this step. For that I offer him a scout sign or half salute (or whatever they have gotten to call it these days).
I want to keep this short. so I am gonna leave this to a numbered list.
1) The one crush that I had in school while in lower Sec did not go so well when courtship was equated to harassment.
2) The other crush that I had of my scout friend's girlfriend god sister, she suffered from extremely low self esteem and sensitivity. Sadly, due to my young age and immaturity, it crashed and burned.
3) The other crush I had in upper secondary... It went well, everything was according to the plan till the confessional stage. And it all went downhill from there. Till today, I am still left wondering what happened? And that was the only time I was serious in secondary sch. Attracting the affections of 5(+1 maybe?) different girls in school in different period of which 2 I would be more then happy to be friends with all my life. However, this misplaced affection that they carried made it difficult for me to be normal around them. It got so bad that I ceased going to the canteen during recess. I know. I am immature.
4) The +1 for above is the strangest of all. She's 2 years my junior... We went for a date and exchanged conversations a bit. Subsequently due to exams, I had to cease contact for a while. I can't remember the specifics, but we lost contact.... until a couple of years later, i receive an sms from her out of the blue thanking me. Now hear this! I was being thanked as she has finally gotten over me and I have ceased being a fixture in her life and preventing her from moving on.... it was definitely a wtf moment for me? I wasn't even sure that we were together in the first place. I suspect that she has a problem with reality.
5) This one was when I was in poly and its a case of not knowing what I want and therefore I accidentally sent out some confusing signals. On hindsight, I think she wants us to be together. But I am not sure if I want to commit. Needless to say, this fizzled out after a while too.
6) I had the hots for her and it was mutual. But she was playing hard to get then and I was too dense to fall for it, hook, line and sinker. Eventually we did get together after 2+ years of probable guessing. But all this guessing got us pretty tired out after a while. Honestly, both of us tried to made it work.... but alas, there were too many things against us. eg. her exams, friends etc.... Heck, even the state was against us. (Think NS!) After giving it shot after shot, I had to admit that it really wouldn't work. Still she will always be special to me. I actually hopes that she realises that soon and that I would very much like her to actually slow down her pursuit of goals in life to enjoy her life more. Even now, when I get drunk, memories of her will still bubbles vividly in my mind even when I am in a drunken stupor.
7) Got to know of this girl while on a trip in a very unique setting. She is cute in a very silly way! I guess the adorableness drew me to her. But the gap between us is so enormous that I didn't know where to begin to bridge it. Managed to stay in contact for a while after the trip back in Singapore... until contact ceased due to other priorities in life.
8) Entering the working world, in my first job which is a most male dominated industry, I managed to date this client for a while and.... it was really bad. I have never met a more boring person!~
9) Moving on to my second colleague, I also had the unfortunate encounter of harboring affections for a colleague which (speaking from a relationship view,) should be doomed right from the start. Logically, everything is wrong. but affection wise, it never felt better. The one that you can't have is the one that you love most. This statement certainly applies here. Here's another point to add, 有缘无份, 相逢恨晚！
10) I am about to start numero 10. Honestly I don't know how this will pan out. I actually felt a little excited about numero 10. And I hope that everything goes well.
For some reasons, all the girls that got involved with me one way or another all became prettier after I hadn't seen them for a while. I wonder long and hard myself for a reason too (maybe I am something like a good luck chuck?). I guess for girls who happens to read this blog, consider me an alternative from plastic surgery? lol!
"Over and Out"
