The Runner Part 2

*** Part 2 of "The Runner". I seriously suggest that all viewers to my blog actually read part 1 here first. I wrote it with the aim for Part two to stand alone by itself. If you want to, you can read it all by itself and it will be just as interesting... *I hope* ***

“hi!”

A very simple greeting. Yet the circumstances in which it was offered cannot be more unusual. She looked a little more refined. The last he remembered, she wasn’t keen on primping and all the makeup nonsense. Obviously, she has changed. At the exact moment, she had a flush that was clearly visible even in the dim street lamps. No doubt, a tint of colour bought on by the run.
It made her looked unexceptionally stunning. He was a little tongue tied at this chance meeting.
He never imagined that the girl that he was ogling at for the last 5 mins was her. The old feelings all came rushing back. All the fond memories and happy moments… Slowing down to a trot, he could only muster a weak smile and offer a “hi!” in return.

The next few metres were covered rather awkwardly.

Both parties must be surprised by this unplanned meeting. Both parties reminded by the past for neither he nor she took the effort to break the silence. He was the one who introduced running to her. The most memorable run they shared? When they were both in school doing their 2.4 km timed run.

He remembered that she was a lousy runner then. He had to dump her halfway through the run in order to secure a pass. That was funny and unknowingly, he gave a hearty snort.
Hearing that snort, she clearly didn’t thought that was funny. She must have thought otherwise when she suddenly sped up.

The distance between them opened up in a short span, just like the gulf that had grown over the years.

He clearly had difficulty pacing her. She sped from Springfield to the community centre and he could only trail faltering behind. So much for all the running training he had while in the army. That was not how he envisioned how this chance meeting will end.

“No. It can’t end this way. No way.” He thought. And he forced himself to limit his stride. A trick that he had learnt while running in the army… By limiting his stride into smaller but faster steps he could increased the speed noticeably. That coupled with small but regular breathing meant that he could keep up for a while.

He was banking on this to catch up.

Only barely a minute has passed and he had caught up and overtaken her.

Yet how can one run for infinity without stopping? He is but a mere human (and a lousy runner at that!) It seems only a world-class athlete will be able to maintain the speed for long. He faltered and missed a step. What happened next occurred in a flurry. He vaguely remembered a dull pain at the ankle and before he knew it, he was going down. At the very exact moment, she was just right behind. Unable to stop, she gave a yelp of terror and ran right into the stumbling heap that was him.

Both parties went down in a tangled mess and sprawled on the pavement in the ugliest way possible.

“Are you still alive?” She asked.

She doesn’t look much worse. Only a few scrapes at the elbow and knee. He fared much worse. His running attire was torn in two places and he had bruises and cuts all over his elbow and knee. The worse thing is that his ankle is now protruding at a weird angle. He must have twisted it while kissing the floor.

He struggled to his feet and peered somewhat embarrassed at her direction.

“Great, I have just ruined my own chance!” He thought.

He tried to put some weight on that ankle. But gave up when it began to tremble, threatening to make him kiss the floor again. A sharp acute pain shot up whenever he tried to flex the ankle and he had to try real hard not to let it show. Yes, A brave demeanor, a brave front. That is required.

“Why do you have to try your very darnest to mess things up? We were doing fine running separately until you started pacing me. You shouldn’t have run along this trail at all!” She lashed out in a bout of annoyance.

He was totally flabbergasted at her outburst. He hadn’t expected that.

“All this while you didn’t care what was happening to this relationship and now you have just screwed up this chance meeting. Wonderful! Life was terrible for me when it was over. I took up running not to reminisce this thing between us but rather to bring my mind and the agony elsewhere. I was running over 20 km a day and I ran until my legs hurt. The pain is nothing compared to what you left me. Thanks man. You really made a difference in my life. Can’t say it’s all good though!”

With that she spun on her heels and left in a huff. As her footstep began to fade away, he thought he heard a sob. He immediately turned in the direction of the sob. At the moment, part of him really wanted to run up and close the rift that was already very wide to begin with and looks like it will widen even more with each step she took.

Just as he took his first step very painfully…. He heard a cold voice from her saying “I think we should avoid each other from now onwards.” It was mentioned in a very curt tone and he could felt a little bitterness and melancholy in it. Totally no room for negotiation. At that point in time, he knew.

It is over. Truly over.

Running now seems like a mistake. A mistake that he imparted unknowingly and is now coming back to haunt him. His ankle is hurting and shouting out for some comfort but that simply cannot be compared to the pain biting him in his heart now. Every breath now seems to hurt and he thought he will black out from the pain soon.

If only time could turn back. Things would turn out differently. He promised himself.

“Why am I so cheap, always hankering after the impossible?”



*** I wanted to go for a happy ending at first, but realised that the way the story has panned out so far doesn't really encourage a happy ending. Most importantly, a poignant ending instead will strike a chord with more readers. The way the ending was written is meant to challenge readers, hopefully, to drive them into reflecting on their decision and actions. Honestly, I have been pondering on a lot of things lately and this just came out. Perhaps this ending is just instinctive ? ***




"Over and Out"

Top 10 NS hits

" I actually wrote this post back on 11/11/07, 10.27 p.m. I was looking for a reason to publish it. Subsequently, my thoughts and writings got ahead of me and this was saved as a draft and eventually got into a thick stack of writings that was written but never published. While clearing my comments, I came across it and decided to publish it. There is, however, little meaning in publishing this post in the past so I decided to tweak the publishment date so that everybody can read and enjoy it. Hopefully this post inspire some hapless guy due to serve the dastardly two years to get some entertainment. I always enjoy a good piece of music, so if anybody read this and feel that they got good ones to offer, drop me a comment pls. :)"



I had the chance to listen to my Zen Vision:M a lot lately. So while fiddling with it I thought that I would think about the songs that I like to listen in period while I was in NS.

That set me thinking; I should record down the top ten greatest hits in NS that I listened to fervently before everything becomes hazy and distant from my mind.... I actually listened less when I was at "counting every round". I listened more when I was at Slackmont where alot of your mates are selfish bastards. When you interact less with selfish bastards by choice, there is always solace in music.

Oh yes, certain camps have policy restricting mp3 players but none for mp3 handphones! Be smart. Play safe. Without a data cable with you, you can almost get off scot-free if you're caught. You will only be given more extras or punishments, giving you even more chance to use it... if it is not already confiscated.

So here goes:




Number 10


Title: "Kang Kang - Bing Bian"
Genre: Chinese Pop

For those of you with close partners who had to go through an agonising breakup due to service to the organisation. You're not the first. I have seen and experienced worse things. (Now imagine breaking up on christmas after gift exchange and flying off in 2 days time to Brunei for exercise for 2 weeks.) This song can alleviate the heartbreak.

At least it did for a while. I think.


Best suited for heart-pain days.



Number 9

Title: "Metal Gear Solid 2 Theme"
Genre: Game OST

Being in the organisation irrefutably means that you must live up to the organisation original purpose most of the time. Nothing beats having a patriotic piece of music on super low morale days. Personally, it stirrs up the spirit after one week of outfield exercise. Now imagine that you're in the boots of solid snake. *sniff* Suddenly the exercise doesn't feel so stupid anymore. There! now you feel better in fatigues already isn't it?

In fact I was so obsessed with it that it was used for the ending credits of a little camp-made video.

Yes. That one.

That one featuring Ah Tsui as himself.

Best suited for low morale days.

Number 8

Title: "Casshern OST - Scene #15 The Last Day"
Genre: Movie OST

I managed to catch this movie with my friends way long before I enlisted. My friends felt that the movie was bad but I think that it's terrific! For some reason, it made me think that war is bad and made me habour negative feelings towards the organisation. This impact is definitely lasting. If you have not been called up for service yet, watch it. Immerse yourself in it and it will change your mind the way it changed mine.

Till today, I still feel the same way. Powerful stuff really.

Best suited for Screw-up days.





Number 7

Title: Jay Zhou - Huo Yuan Jia
Genre: Chinese Pop???

Slightly more then a year ago, I was nothing but a guard. A guard need to do what a guard need to do. As the golden guard, guarding the complex is as exciting as watching snails crawl. ( Golden guard = personnel doing the highest number of duty.) You definitely need some loud music to get the blood pumping and the befuddled brain working at the 4 a.m shift. Nothing does it better then "Huo Yuan Jia" the newest song to hit the market then. Try listening to it at 4 a.m in the morning at 90% volume. The infectious chorus will jolt you awake yet at the same time doesn't stress you out too much since nobody can really hear what Jay chou is singing on a good day either. Not to mention when he's singing in a falsie pitch like those chinese opera singers!

Best suited for duty days.



Number 6

Title: "Li Sheng Jie - Chi Xin Jue Dui"
Genre: Chinese Pop

The hottest karaoke song to hit the organisation during BeeMTee. Practically every night the song will be played on the local radio and everybody will hum the tune in the showers and in bed.
The best sing along song ever. Followed by group hugs and prayers for a better tomorrow. Particularly useful if you're in Ninja Company where tomorrow almost always means worse then yesterday. (unless its friday)

Best suited for groupie days, where everybody is around and waiting for things to happen.



Number 5

Title: "Himuro Kyosuke - Diamond Dust "
Genre: Japanese Pop

I don't understand a single word of Jap. However, there's a phrase where the it goes " $^$*%&^$%# loving you!" So basically through out the whole song I can only understand 'loving you'. Most of the time, when I am listening to this song I set it to maybe volume 4. The softest and I will lie on my bed after lights out, waiting for sleep to claim me. This song has undertones of rock and electronic bass but somehow it still help me to sleep. I wonder why.

Best suited for those days that you know you have to sleep early in camp cause there's a exercise tomorrow.



Number 4

Title: " S.H.E - Ai Wo De Zhi Ge"

Genre: Chinese Pop

This song is one of the better ones in S.H.E earlier album (I forgot which) that is good but rarely gets any airtime as they were probably not famous enough then. The lyrics were what attracted me in the first place. during those times that I was in "SlackMont", I will sometimes imagine that those were the reasons for the break up. For everything that I did or didn't do. It is simply something to fill in the gaps on my end for all those questions left lingering in your head at night especially when you feel that studying those stupid precis are a waste of time.

Best suited for those days when you feel cheap emotionally and is asking for more abuse and headwrecking sessions where there are no answers.


Number 3

Title: " Zhang Shao Han - Yi Shi De Mei Hao "
Genre: Chinese Pop

This song has simple lyrics. Although it is actually a love song, the song title actually means "lost good things". The lyrics has a phrase that actually says "smiling the way you like, I depart on my way and search for the lost good things". I very much like to infer that the sentence will hold true when I finally leave the organisation. Of course, its just powerful imagination at work here.

Did I mention that this song has a nice tune that will make repeated listening easy?

Best suited for those contemplative days.



Number 2

Title: "Johnny Cash and Dave Matthew - For You"
Genre: We Were Soldiers OST

This song has serious christian undertones. I still love it though. This song has special meaning to me especially to my then OCS mate. Without him watching my back and helping me. I could not have made it. Everytime, I listen to this piece. I would think about him.

He had to drop out in Pro-term due to health matters. I didn't knew of it until much later. A rift formed overnight then. We only met up when we were into the last 3 weeks. the circumstances that we met up cannot be more different..... We went our separate ways after commissioning.

Should he happen to chance across this blog one day, I want him to know that he didn't lose much by not commissioning. If only I had known.... If only I had known earlier. If I had a choice to go through it again. I would still like him to watch my back.

Best suited for that special buddy and the special times.

Number 1

Title: "Michael Buble - Home"
Genre: English Pop

This is the must listen to song in the organisation. When you book in early, or forced to stay in or kenna arrowed for Dodo duties. The lyrics is so apt to the situation that you're in at the particular moment you could have wept on the spot. I don't know why but when I listen to this song in the dodo or bozo office, I feel like falling to my knees and weep. Especially when you're near the last leg of getting back that coveted pink card.

Best suited for the aggrieved period of endless duty.

"Over and Out"

2 tales that might have ended differently

I left 23 in 2007. Exactly ten years after the incident in New Zealand. In fact, the entire unit went to pay their respect.

It did occured to me that the pain of losing one dearest persist indefinitely. I know. I was there and I met Sgt Ronnie's mum. Some pain just doesn't go away. It hollows you inside out. Making you a shell of your former self.

I remember telling my buddy there and then that Sgt Ronnie was not given the chance to pursue his dream and that he departed in his youth under such circumstances is indeed lamentable.

Being in the formation that 23 belongs by nature means that you automatically run the highest risk of dying while in service. That is true. I have seen photographs of mutilated corpse, crushed appendage and heard tales of such cases while I was there. I was lucky that everything went smoothly for me and I made it out in one piece, only with creaky knees.

Still I somewhat resent the fact that my creaky knees were due to service.

Looking back, it occurred to me that safety is as much an individual responsibilty as well as organisation responsibilty. Nobody know your own body better then yourself, I should have falled out. I should have sound off. Back then, in fact everybody I asked said they had creaky knees. But here one year after, I still have knees that dun feel quite right whereas others seems to have recovered. Perhaps the pain I felt then was not quite the same as the rest?

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

I vaguely remember reading somewhere that certain hospital has a system which works by asking individuals soon to undergo surgery to rank how much common aliments will hurt on a scale of 1 - 10. Eg. injection, ant bite etc... Subsequently this knowledge will be filed away for after the surgery to determine dosage of anaesthesia use.

You see, this helps the anaesthesist to determine how much to adminster.

Perhaps the organisation need to have such a system where by enlistees undergo this process asking them to rate the common aliment on a scale of 1-10 at CMPB while they do their pre-enlistment checkup. Of course the aliments will range from 'mild' to 'normal' to 'plain unbearable'.

What is mild can be unbearable to others. What is plain unbearable can some times be mild only to some. Everybody has a different threshold to pain.

Therefore, when the service man feel unwell, they will be asked to rate their discomfort against what they have ranked previously. If the rating falls within the 'plain unbearable' range. They must be allowed to fall out immediately.

Sure this system is not failproof. But hey! All the chao keng si-ginnah will do so anyway. But if this system can save one good man. Then it will be a system worth having.



"Over and Out"

Passion Run 2008

8th June 2008. Exactly one year after I left the organisation and became a civilian again. On this very day, I did Passion Run 2008, covering 15Km in 1 hr and 35 mins. Doing it despite not training extensively is a dumb decision as my legs were feeling like jelly after 10 km.

An unusual way to celebrate the one year anniversary isn't it?

*Chuckle*

"Over and Out"